you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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