I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
