if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
