So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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