Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
