i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
