He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
