Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
