I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
