how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
