Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
