my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
