You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
