So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
