I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
