she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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