I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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