piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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