Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
