If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
