You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sarcasm needs its own font
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
