oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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