maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
