can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
