...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
