I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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