It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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