I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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