just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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