dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
