Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
