you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
