Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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