So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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