I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize