i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
