she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
