There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
