ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
