I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
