She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize