dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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