so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who died my cat blue again?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
