nut hugger
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
