I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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