I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
