he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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