Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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