our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize