didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
