; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
third nipple confirmed
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize