i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He? As in you personified your dick?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
