fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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