Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
