She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
