just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
