Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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