elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
