Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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