I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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