I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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