to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
