our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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